One Year of Freelancing

Today marks one year of freelancing. A year ago, I lost my job at SoundExchange. There are two things I remember about that day, sitting in the HR office and then crying on the metro. 

After experiencing loss, there came the bittersweet feeling of having space. What do you do when you are so used to filling up your time with others’ agendas and giving all of yourself to projects that feel like mental and physical contortion?

I asked myself these questions for a couple of weeks before anxiously applying to every job posting and falling into a scarcity mindset. I watched the world shutter due to Covid-19 and wondered if this would decide my future. I knew that even if I were to land any old job, it would only take up space and mask my insecurity of not having that shiny thing that provided a 1st and 15th paycheck. 

After I came to this realization, I stopped resisting and made telling Black stories my full-time job. I'm currently embracing a sense of freedom steeped in possibility, however uncertain the future may be. Even if freelancing isn’t my end game, it has certainly allowed me to learn about what I need in my next work environment.